GUEST POET 

KG

Tlaltecuhtli

the serpent gods wore feathers

and tumbled from the dawn,

took me from the waters,

and foot to foot, was drawn.

this, before creation,

with life still being nursed;

before there could be beauty,

they had to kill me first.

now half of me, the earth;

the other turned to sky;

in this end, rebirth;

the rest they left to die.

the serpent gods made flowers;

and of my flesh, the fields;

caves descending from my stare,

and lips the river yields.

but I survived the great divide;

the final battle, won;

escaped the mouth of madness,

and swallowed whole the sun.

the world then dark and chaos;

in dark, the darkness sieved;

that darkness hid the monster;

and in that dark, I lived.

then the serpents folded;

and drew a compromise;

a hundred years be golden;

a hundred human lives.

be calm before the monster;

that is this world, in parts;

the monster will lay sleeping on

its feast of bloody hearts.

The One

She is a lioness

Bathed in the night

Wrapped in a black sun

She smiles like a promise

And laughs like tomorrow

Might never come.

She has the strength of years

Of freedom

She stands with the grace

Of centuries of fight

And she speaks with the voices

Of the thousands lost at sea

She really sees me

Her eyes set deep in onyx

She keeps me floating

When I’m drowning in feelings

Of terror and loathing

She pulls me up with her

Into the clouds

And we lay among giants

Wanting for nothing

She is breath to me

And I take her in and let her go

To see how far she’ll fly

Before she comes back

To tell me about the journey

Boarderline

“Lay my head on the railroad line. Train come along; pacify my mind. ”

― Toni Morrison, Beloved

                             I have been really focused lately on all the things that I don’t have. 

I keep thinking about how Lupus

has robbed me of things I should have. Every time my friends reach normal milestones I look at their lives and while I am happy for them I also fall into despair for myself because I do not fit the imagine of who I thought I would be at this point in my life.

Part of the image I have of my self was formed by my on thoughts and desires but also the hopes and dreams of the elders around me.  I don’t want to disappoint those who have worked and sacrificed for me. I have a deep sense of duty that runs through my veins and wakes me up in the morning.

Now I’m at a point where I have to compare who I thought I was going to be, from the person I am, from the person I want to be. At this point in my life. My life. Right here right now. After thinking about it I finally thought what have I lost? What was I promised?

The answer---absolutely nothing. I wasn’t born to wealth. I am not an heir. I worked damned hard for everything I have and I’ll continue to work for everything I ever get. A lot of luck is involved in success and successful people should very well realize that. If they don’t they are overly self indulged and foolish. Luck is health. Luck is working limbs. Luck is sight and the ability to walk. Luck is good nutrition and good schools. Some of us are born more lucky than others.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that the image I had for my life is not going to come to fruition in exactly the manner I thought it would. I am now at a crossroads.

 Do I go forth with no image for my future or do I make new plans.

 I’ve decided that I can make vague plans and work towards reaching them. I can have plans but I don’t have to be shackled to the end results. I no longer have to fit a mold of my own making. I reach for a dream that changes and conforms to my situation. I can be proud of any progress I make and I can remain humble in the process. Lupus has given me an abundant amount of humility, but it has also taught me a lot about persistence. I’ll keep persisting. I’ll keep trying. I’ll wake up every day and I’ll take one breath after another. 

Fatherland

When I was 5 years old

My grandfather

Decided it was time to sit me down

And discuss our heritage

This lesson was a direct result

Of him discovering my

Obsession with jumping

off the roof of his house

In direct violation of an express order

Not to do so

But danger was a foreign concept to me

And I was made out of Teflon

And rubber

Death was about as real as

Santa clauseAfter discovering mid flight

My grandfather brought me in

Grateful I had not broken any bones

and decided it was time for me

To hear my legacy

I come from the stock of murders

And thieves

Of bushmen and robbers

I am wiley and resourceful

I laugh hard and play for keeps

We are a honorable stock

And our morality is that of superior women

We are Cimarron

We are stolen back slaves

We are freemen with the conscience

To kill

And our children have wild hearts

And no sense of shame

My parents called me a tom-boy and tried to make me sit

My grandfather called me Nanny’s soldier

And told me to run everywhere

My grandmother told me that pants were unlady like

So my grandfather bought me shorts

At 7 he told me that rather than let their slaves go

The masters on Jamaican plantations burned their slaves

Quarters up in the middle of the night

Freedom for them

Was for the soul only

The bodies would forever be there’s

Fairytales and fantasies give us maps

For the impossible

Dreams are the playbook for life

If you can’t imagine it

Then you can never reach for it

We are told and we continue to tell

Stories that are impossible and improbable

We need them

To lead our bodies to new places

And we need them to hold

Our spirits together

My grandfather believe that the slaves who stole

Themselves back from moral men

Were honorable thieves

And superior beings

And thus gave us the bloodline of gods

We swam in the long forgotten blood of Poseidon

And the smiles of Loki healed our scars

Odon was in the salt of our tears and sweat

And Anansi kept our children clever

I come from an island of forgotten but not powerless gods

Thieves, murders, and robbers, all honorable men taking back

Their morality from the men who tried to steal their best. 

When I find myelf

I live my life

In a constant state of alright

But rarely was it truly ok

Until one day when I stumbled

Upon an orchid growing up

Through the cracks of an urban walkway

There she was bold and delicate

Beautiful and righteous

Soft and gritty

The type of flower that blooms

For no one and opens

When she wants to show off for herself

At first I wanted to pick her

But then I realized it would be best

To just visit

So I came to her

Over and over

For blessings

For company

For fun and peace

And she opened her petals

Showed me her joy

And brought me to a Maybe

Where before I was mostly NO

This orchard dancing in the sun

Grows in the moon

Thrives on music

And grooves to the twinkle of stars

Through the sound of stem I hear

My life in colors of hope and promise

Through the whisper of her leaves

I see my potential in notes of

Sturdy valor

My grand orchid

After bringing the sublime to my feet

She merely folds up again

And goes back to sleep