How I got here

My loneliness was so full and pathetic
I could not help but
gorge myself on its sureness
you see sadness drips like honey
from the skies you just
have to stand in the spot where you saw it last
and it’s sure to come around again
so with reckless abandon I
licked the remnants of a decadent sorrow
from my fingers and was shameless
in succumbing to its sticky richness

I was pathetic and begging for seconds
After discovering that it is easier to be a victim then to
get on a moody treadmill and
not surprisingly my inability
to push away from that wretched table
lead to my development of emotional diabetes
so now with one leg
a sore foot
and limited vision I
trip over the thin needles
of redemption I was given
and through some act of destiny
they prick the smallest part of me
shooting up possibility
trying to fight the infection of
a lonesome desolation
it’s a medicine given to me
by my other self the one
that remembers poetry
and honesty and community
she has three eyes and knows the sun
is made up of sevens
she believes an old love is still worthy
if only for the memory
and knows that hope is limitless
even though I forget on this lengthy journey
she holds me and sustains me
doesn’t judge me and waits patiently
for me to return
because she believes
I’ll do it like Caesar with hindsight
Like Atila with Nostradamus
And Hannibal with an Atom bomb
Triumphantly, certainly
With the artificial titanium limbs
That confidence left behind

© 2014 Christal Coakley